双语新闻：游走在文化之间
Choosing When to Be a Local And When to Be an OutsiderSince arriving in China three years ago my family has been determined to explore as much of Asia as possible. Though it can be exhausting and expensive, we push on, conscious that our time here is limited.
My wife or I sometimes spend hours sequestered in a hotel corner pecking away at a laptop while the rest of the family sleeps or enjoys an adventure, but we always try to head for the airport or train station and set out for somewhere every time our kids have a break from school.
One of the differences in my travels since becoming an expat is I naturally find myself contemplating what it would be like to live in the places I am visiting, something that never occurred to me before.
So it was last week, when we made our first trip to Japan, traveling to Kyoto and Osaka, where we spent a day with Douglas Schafer, a childhood friend whom I hadn't seen in over 20 years. He has lived in Japan for 16 years, is married to a Japanese woman and is raising three kids there. He helped us get a handle on this fascinating place, which seems a world away from China. Spending time with him also brought home the contrast between a short-term expat like myself and someone who chooses to live abroad indefinitely, like Douglas.
I have never felt comfortable when readers or friends and relatives back home describe our decision to move to Beijing as brave, something I have heard many times. I think it was a no-brainer with relatively little risk involved. We had the opportunity to come to China for a limited amount of time, secure in the knowledge that 'home' was waiting. I believe that long-term expats like Douglas have made the truly difficult and courageous decision to cast their lots in a foreign nation. He, however, rejects that notion.
'When I came to Japan I had no kids and very little to lose so I wasn't really making as big a decision as you did,' he says. 'I had not planned on being here this long. I also think it is very American to be so surprised that someone would move to another country to live and work -- which is exactly what America needs more people to do. Your decision was a big one for the kids, but most people look at the negative rather than the positive, while I view it as absolutely a good thing to have done.'
As a lifer expat, with a long-term time horizon, Douglas has been able to watch a lot of changes take place in his adopted country. That's the kind of thing often missed by short-term expats like me, on a definitively timed assignment with solid plans to return home. Talking to Douglas, who has witnessed a good deal of Japan's advancement from developing to developed country, brought home that many of the stark differences between China and Japan, which can be lazily chalked up to differences in national character, may actually have more to do with phases of development.
China is still a place where you might see people strolling outside in pajamas in the middle of the day. When the weather's warm, men sit on the sidewalk playing cards or eating lunch with their shirts rolled up, exposing their sweaty bellies. In Japan, cab drivers dress formally, mostly sporting ties, white gloves and chauffer caps. The trains are modern and high speed.
To really get to the bottom of the differences between China and Japan it helps to start at the literal bottom -- the toilets. Though rapidly improving, China still has many shockingly unsanitary restrooms. I have smelled and seen things that will be with me forever. And even decent restrooms in nice places often lack soap. Japan, on the other hand, seems to have a fetish for bathroom cleanliness. The toilets do everything except pull your pants up and down, often featuring a wide array of bottom-cleaning water sprays.
A friend who recently moved back to the U.S. after a decade in China told me he always enjoyed visiting Japan, finding its orderliness 'a perfect antidote to the craziness of China.'
It didn't take long to understand what he meant; Japan seems to be structured where China is chaotic. While this made me feel like Japan was a great place to visit -- particularly as a break from China -- I also thought it would be a tough place to feel at home. People in Japan were largely friendly and welcoming, but often with an underlying rigidity that kept me worrying about my children's behavior, which always seems to teeter on the unruly. It's a feeling I often have in the U.S. but rarely in China, where people generally seem to be charmed by mischievous kids. I like China's informality and enjoy its chaos, which feeds a sense that anything is possible and is partially a natural byproduct of a society in transition.
As Douglas pointed out, most of the shrines and beautiful temples in Kyoto still have squatty toilets, which dominated Japan just a decade ago. 'China is basically where Japan was 20 years ago,' he said.
As we sat chatting in the living room of his home in the Osaka hills, his three kids and mine played downstairs. Thirty-five years after Douglas and I made mud pies in a Pittsburgh park, our children played Wii in an Osaka basement. It felt both totally natural and somewhat surreal.
As a foreigner in a fairly closed society and an entrepreneur in a culture that reveres the company man, Douglas is a double outsider -- but he actually views his status as an advantage.
'As a foreigner in Japan I have one benefit that the Japanese don't have and that is I get to choose when I want to be local and when I want to be the outsider,' he says. 'That means I can live the life I want without having to obey all the rules that someone like my wife has to. I think that a key to expats who want to make it long term here both in business and in day-to-day life is understanding when to be an American outsider, as we can never be 100% a part of the Japanese culture.'
While Douglas has had to learn when to try to be an insider and when to revel in being an outsider, his kids will likely move with ease between the two different cultures. The three boys are truly third culture kids, growing up in Japan with a Japanese mother and an American father. His two younger sons attend Japanese schools, while the oldest, now 13, recently transferred to an international school, where he is studying in English. Many friends in China in similar situations make the same decision, ensuring that the child will be literate in Chinese (or Japanese) characters and also fluent in English.
Douglas's kids speak both languages as a mother tongue. They have both U.S. and Japanese passports and spend their summers attending summer camp with their American cousins. But they are not likely to move to their father's home country any time soon.
'It would be hard at this point to return to America,' Douglas told me later, over a beautiful and lengthy dinner of endless, delicate dishes I never could have ordered myself; his wife Sayuki did a masterful job. 'I have laid down a business, created strong friendships and have family roots that would be too hard to tear up and start over.'
游走在文化之间
自从三年前搬来中国以后，我们一家人就下定决心要尽可能多在亚洲走走看看。虽然这样既劳筋骨又费钞票，但我们仍然坚持了下来，因为知道我们在这里的时间有限。
在家人坠入梦乡或享受冒险旅程时，我妻子或我有时会躲在酒店一角，在笔记本电脑上敲个没完，但每次只要孩子们放了假，我们总是尽量安排乘飞机或坐火车到比较远的地方旅行。
自从我到国外生活后，旅行生活对于我来说也发生了一些变化。其中之一就是我发现自己会设想，假如我是生活在自己正在游历的地方，那么一切又会是怎样，这是我以前从未想过的。
上星期我们第一次去日本旅行时就是如此。我们去了京都和大阪，在那里跟我20多年不见的儿时伙伴道格拉斯.沙费尔(Douglas Schafer)一块儿待了一天。他已经在日本生活了16年，娶了个日本女子，还生了三个孩子。在他的帮助下，我们对这个迷人的国度有了一些认识，这里跟中国似乎是全然不同的两个世界。跟他在一起也能真切地感受到像我这样短期旅居国外的人和道格拉斯这种选择无限期在海外生活的人之间存在多么强烈的反差。
读者或老家的亲友无数次将我们决定迁居北京的决定说成是勇敢的举动，每次听到这样的说法，我都觉得不舒服。我觉得这件事并不需要过多的考虑，相对来说也没什么风险。我们有机会来中国生活一段时间，也知道有个“家”在等著我们，所以有恃无恐。我觉得像道格拉斯这样长期在海外生活的人才是做出了真正艰难而又大胆的决定，把自己所有的一切投入到一个陌生的国度。不过他也拒绝接受这样的看法。
他说：“我来日本的时候还没有孩子，也没什么可失去的，因此我所做出的决定其实没有你那样重大。我本来没打算在这里生活这么长时间。而且我觉得，对于某个人会移居别的国家生活和工作表现得如此惊讶体现了美国人的特点，但美国其实正需要更多的人这样做。对于孩子们来说，你的决定可谓重大，但大多数人都只注重这样做的负面效果，而不是它的积极效果，而我觉得这绝对是件好事。”
长期旅居国外的道格拉斯得以见证他所移居的国家发生的许多变化。而像我这样有严格时限和明确归国计划的短期派驻者常常感受不到。道格拉斯目睹了日本从发展中国家向发达国家转变的过程中的许多进步，与他的一席话让人感受到，中日之间的许多显著不同可以被简单地归结为民族性差异，而实际上或许更多地是由于发展阶段的不同造成的。
在中国，你可能还会看到有人大白天穿著睡衣出门。天气炎热的时候，会有人坐在人行道上打牌或吃饭，卷起上衣，露出汗津津的肚子。而在日本，出租车司机都会穿的很正式，打著领带，戴著白色的手套和帽子。日本的火车很先进，速度也很快。
要弄清中国和日本到底在哪些地方存在差异，我们不妨从真正的底层－－卫生间－－说起。虽然中国的卫生间条件在迅速改善，但还是有很多地方极其不卫生。我所见所“闻”的一些东西让我一辈子也忘不了。就连高级场所内很像样的卫生间也常常没有肥皂。另一方面，日本似乎极度注重卫生间的清洁。除了替你脱裤子和提裤子，日本的马桶简直什么都能做，通常还有各种各样的喷水洁身器。
有一个朋友在中国生活了10年，最近回了美国。他说他一直喜欢去日本，觉得那里的整洁有序“刚好矫正了中国的疯狂混乱”。
没过多久我就明白了他的意思；中国混乱不堪的地方恰好是日本井井有条的地方。虽然这让我觉得日本是个很好的游览之地，尤其是作为暂别中国的一个去处，但我也觉得日本太过死板，让人不自在。日本人一般都友好热情，但常常有一种潜在的刻板，令我老是担心自己孩子的行为，他们似乎总有点儿无法无天。我在美国也常常有这种感觉，但在中国却很少，中国人一般好像都很喜欢调皮捣蛋的孩子。我喜欢中国的随意和无序，这让人有种一切皆有可能的感觉，在某种程度上也是社会处于转型期的必然结果。
正如道格拉斯所指出的那样，京都大多数神社和美丽的庙宇的马桶都还是蹲式的，这种马桶10年前还是日本的主流。他说：“中国基本上处于日本20年前的状况。”
他家在大阪山区，我们坐在客厅里聊著天，他的三个孩子跟我的孩子在楼下玩。35年前，道格拉斯和我一起在匹兹堡的一个公园里玩泥巴，而现在，我们的孩子在大阪的一个地下室里玩Wii。这种感觉既顺理成章，又有点不真实。
作为一个外国人，同时又是个创业者，身处相对封闭的社会和尊崇“公司人”的文化中，道格拉斯可谓双种的外来者，但实际上他将自己的处境视为一种优势。
他说：“作为在日本的外国人，我拥有日本人所不具备的优势，那就是我可以选择何时当日本人何时当外来者。这就意味著，我可以过自己想过的生活，不用像我妻子那样遵从所有的规则。我觉得，对于想长期在这儿工作和生活的外国人来说，最重要的是知道什么时候应该当个外来的美国人，因为我们不可能完全融入日本文化。”
在道格拉斯不得不学习什么时候应当努力融入当地社会，什么时候又应该享受作为“外人”的乐趣之时，他的孩子们却可能轻松游走于两种不同的文化之间。他的三个儿子是真正的第三文化小孩，在日本长大、母亲为日本人、父亲为美国人。两个小儿子就读的是日本学校，而最大的孩子现在已经13岁，最近转到了以英语教学的国际学校。许多在中国处于类似情况的朋友也作出了同样的决定，以确保孩子们能通晓中文（或日文），同时也能做到英文流利。
道格拉斯的孩子以英语和日语为母语。他们有美国和日本两国护照，夏天还会跟美国的表兄弟姐妹一起参加夏令营。但他们近期不太可能离开日本去美国生活。
后来一起吃饭时，道格拉斯对我说：“现在这个时候回美国会很难。我已经创办了一家公司，建立了牢固的友谊，也在这里扎下了根，很难割舍这一切，从头开始。”这顿饭极其精致，时间也很长，有一道又一道我自己绝对点不上来的精美菜肴。道格拉斯的妻子Sayuki好好地露了一手。 兄弟继续发哦：0 我会及时评分的 呵呵 版主真是工作认真啊！确实
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